Embracing Vulnerability: Unlocking Strength and Inner Peace for Success

In this episode, we confront a pervasive question many women grapple with: "Why do you think you have to do it all?" This inquiry probes the deep-seated beliefs and societal pressures that compel women to strive for perfection across all areas of life—career, family, personal health, and social obligations.

We'll dissect the roots of this mindset, examining how cultural narratives and gender roles shape our expectations of ourselves and others. The compulsion to juggle everything perfectly isn't just exhausting; it can detract from our deeper purpose and personal well-being.

Our discussion will guide listeners toward strategies for setting realistic expectations, prioritizing self-care, and learning to delegate or say no. We'll emphasize the importance of identifying what truly matters to us, rather than adhering to external standards of success. By doing so, we empower ourselves to make choices that align with our values and life goals.

Join us as we explore how to dismantle the myth of 'doing it all' and how to embrace a more balanced, fulfilling approach to life. This is a call to action for women to redefine success on their own terms and reclaim their right to peace and satisfaction.

Join us as we dive deep into understanding the delicate balance of offering support without overshadowing the personal agency and insights of those we aim to help. This conversation is about enhancing our effectiveness as supporters by fostering an atmosphere of respect, understanding, and true empowerment.

Don't miss this conversation on aligning your career with personal values and goals!

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Welcome to "The Heart of Success," where we redefine success with Larisa Vakulina – a multi-awarded entrepreneur, healer, and mentor.

Feeling unfulfilled despite your achievements? Larisa knows your journey. Each week, she shares powerful insights to help you blend professional success with personal fulfillment. Through her unique blend of business strategies and spiritual principles, you'll discover your true self and build a heart-aligned life.

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Chapters

• 0:00 Reclaiming Inner Worth and Confidence
• 17:26 Embracing Strength Through Seeking Help

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:32

Hello everyone. You are on the Heart of Success show and I'm your host, larissa Vakulina. Go live every Wednesday at 2 pm South Australian time zone. And here on this show, I'm sharing with you different tools, tips, motivation, inspiration how you can make your life much more enjoyable, happy, healthy, satisfied, fulfilled and absolutely amazing and full of experiences that we can actually have here in this form. So today I wanted to continue the series of my episodes talking about successful, strong women.

Speaker 1: 1:41

Why do we assume, or why do we think, by others? I have to do it all for everyone. I have to take responsibility for friends, for family, for children, for parents, for business, for all the external aspects of my life, in order for me to feel good inside. In order for me to feel good inside, it's because, starting very early in our physical journey, when we are kids, when we go to kindergarten, when we go to school, we've always been taught to be nice, to be good girls, to behave, and we've always been taught to be externally focused and make other people happy, make other people feel good, make other people to feel comfortable around us, and that's what I did. And that's what I did. I stretched myself all the time to be over-loyal, over-giving, over-understanding, supporting people that are around me and I'm not saying we don't do this, but the difference from supporting them from the fullness of your own personal club, your heart, and from the place of deficit, from the place of limitation, it's two different stories. Well, I didn't know that and I was just so rigidly giving to others and supporting them without even realizing that I did it all from that place of not enoughness, from the place of limit and from the place of not completed me, because I was not value myself, I was not having my worthiness in the total sense of it. I was doing it all unconsciously, of course, unconsciously, without even having any awareness that I was doing it from the place of neediness and receiving back that love, respect, admiration, without understanding that if I'm doing it from the place of the deficit in me, I only will receive that same deficit from others, because that's deficit from others, because that's the universal law, that's how everything is relating to each other. We only can receive from others or external world what we actually putting back into the others or the external world in terms of from which place we're doing it. It is really confusing and the border of understanding from which space we're living and from which space we are relating to ourselves and others can be really confusing. But we need to develop that awareness of what place within ourselves we are relating to others and to ourselves first.

Speaker 1: 6:03

So when I was just over-loyal, over-giving, over-understanding deep inside, I was hoping that all my over-loyalty will come back to me in the same form. But it never did, because it was coming out from me, from the place of not enoughness, from the place of wanting love and acceptance and connection and respect. But it was from that limited, very fearful, not respected place within myself which I didn't understand back then and a lot of women still not understanding this and a lot of women still not understanding this. They still operating from that same place of being not enough, of having limitations within, of I'm not worthy, not valuing yourself enough, not loving yourself enough. And this is the difference. It's a very minute, very subtle, internal energetic output that we're actually sending out there. But I'm sending it, I was sending it. I was sending it unconsciously and other people unconsciously picking it up in the right sense. Yes, that's from deficit. That's really this. You know, she wants something from me, she wants something from us, and these dynamics going on everywhere around. I'm observing from my clients, from groups, I'm teaching from all of these people around me that come for help, displaying these same dynamics.

Speaker 1: 8:16

It is a really painful place to be, it is a really limited place to be and it is always like a puzzle, like there's always this thought well, how come I am constantly putting myself out there to look after everyone, and why I'm not feeling the same giving from them? It's because first we need to find that love, that respect, that worthiness, that value within ourselves. And when we become aware of that, when we start this process of understanding, that first is my own personal complete comfort within who I am, only then we can have relationship with the other, inviting them to share the same. So when we are going through this period of our time, I'm talking to you successful, powerful, strong woman. You already achieved everything, you already have it all, have it all, but that deep in unfulfillment within you, you always having this puzzling thought like why? Why I am having it all but I still feel off. But like why I am just achieving everything I'm successful I'm, but why I am just achieving everything, I'm successful, I'm doing so much and I check all the boxes, but within I feel like something is missing and you cannot nail it. You cannot nail it and you're just puzzled all the time, and then you're wasting your energy just sitting and keep puzzling instead of just reflecting and saying, yes, I need some help, I need some guidance. Saying, yes, I need some help, I need some guidance.

Speaker 1: 10:59

So, but for strong woman it is so hard, because strong women believes that she can do it herself. She believes that she's so strong and she actually can drive herself into deepest crisis that she eventually will collapse. She eventually will collapse. She eventually will feel that people betraying her, the ones that she was over-loyal, over-giving, over-understanding they will betray her. She will find out that her body cannot hold it anymore. She would find out that she cannot control anything anymore other people or situations and businesses and children and things. That's painful. That is really not necessary. That struggle is not necessary to be in your life.

Speaker 1: 11:51

You put in so much effort into building your life. You're putting so much effort into building your life, building success and building the life you want to live. You believe that when you're successful, you're going to be happy, but you only find yourself experiencing disconnection from other people, from your children, from your loved ones, from your parents, from friends. So I'm just inviting you to reflect on your life and if there is a feeling of something missing and that you believe that you are in control, you have to do it all. Only in that belief you feel comfort, you feel comforting, you feel that you are feeling like I'm fine, because this is defense, this is protection, you functioning from that very, very wounded place in yourself. That control can give you comfort of managing everything and managing everyone, but in reality it will bring you deep, deep pain eventually.

Speaker 1: 13:23

How long can you keep managing something that doesn't need to be managed? What needs to be managed is your internal space. You need to start to build your self-awareness. You need to start to flip that functioning from the place of deficit to the place of peace. Confidence within yourself, true confidence, abundance, just that inner knowing that you are worthy. You are worthy, you are a brilliant, you are a diamond that needs to be just polished a little bit. You already done it all. You just need to have a little step from here, from the place of proving yourself, to the place of I am worthy and I know what I want and I know how my life needs to be. I know we are strong women and successful women. We think that I can do it all.

Speaker 1: 14:46

And if we have this, you know tiredness, we have the depression, we have the anxiety of things. We go to doctor because we believe that doctors can help us possibly, but they only can help, maybe slightly to improve your symptoms for a day or two, maybe a week, but then it will hit you more. It will hit you more. So I'm going to run a face-to-face program, the Ascara Principles, where we can dive deeper into that internal space of your brilliant self and get the awareness of why, why we are creating pain in our lives, why we are achieving so much and we're doing so much, as we're taught to be good, nice girls and behave, but we forget about who we are and we're just chasing this success in the name of being successful, in the name of fitting into the societal definition of success, forgetting about ourselves, forgetting about who we are and how we can give more and give unlimited, from the place of enoughness, from the place of being worthy, from the place of valuing ourselves, from the place of that inner divine abundance that you are.

Speaker 1: 16:52

You just need to flip it. You need to transform that limited, painful, distorted belief that you can do it all into the belief of okay, I stuck, I stuck and I hit the wall. I don't know what to do and I hit the wall. I don't know what to do, I have it all, but I don't have that internal happiness and fulfillment.

Speaker 1: 17:26

Ask for help, asking for help, is actually a very. It is the strength, it's not the weakness. So I love you strong, successful woman, and I really want to help you. I don't want you to go through what I went through, because I believed that I can do it all and at the end, I couldn't and I needed to start from that bottom line of the deep, deep, deep crisis and lift myself up slowly, one step at a time, and it's painful and it's painful. So I want to help you not to go into that bottom of deep crisis. So just keep tuning in and I'm going to have and send a lot of information about my Daskara Principles program so that you can register yourself and come physically here at my property to learn about how strong, beautiful, powerful, authentic you can be in your life and have more success, happiness, fulfillment and live your life fully. Thank you so much. I'll come and speak to you next week.