Healing through Self-Forgiveness and Personal Growth

Freedom, at its core, is the ability to act, think, and live without undue restriction or control. It is one of the most fundamental desires of human beings, encompassing the autonomy to make choices, express oneself, and pursue personal fulfilment. On a personal level, freedom means having the space and permission to be who we are authentically, without fear of judgment or external imposition. It allows individuals to explore their potential, pursue their passions, and cultivate a sense of purpose.

However, true freedom is not simply about the absence of constraints; it also comes with responsibility. It requires the understanding that one’s freedom should not infringe on the rights and freedoms of others. It also implies the capacity to manage the consequences of one’s choices and actions, emphasizing the balance between independence and interconnectedness in human societies.

In essence, freedom is not just a political or social condition; it is a state of mind. For many, it involves breaking free from internal limitations like fear, self-doubt, or societal expectations. Real freedom, then, is the ability to live in alignment with one’s values, to connect meaningfully with others, and to find inner peace, regardless of external circumstances. 

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Welcome to "The Heart of Success," where we redefine success with Larisa Vakulina – a multi-awarded entrepreneur, healer, and mentor.

Feeling unfulfilled despite your achievements? Larisa knows your journey. Each week, she shares powerful insights to help you blend professional success with personal fulfillment. Through her unique blend of business strategies and spiritual principles, you'll discover your true self and build a heart-aligned life.

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Chapters

• 0:00 The Power of Self-Honesty
• 14:23 The Path to Self-Honesty

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:32

Hello, happy Wednesday. You are on the Heart of Success show and I'm your host, larisa Vakulina. I go live not every Wednesday, but every second, third Wednesday and in between I have recording for the Wednesday 2 pm, south Australian time zone. Well, today I decided to talk about this very interesting concept about freedom, what freedom really means. I guess it is all different for everyone but at the same time, freedom is having many, many different facets.

Speaker 1: 1:45

Inous beliefs that we hold within ourselves influence the concept of freedom. I noticed myself, and I met a lot of people who are really having a very limited concept of freedom because it sits really deeply in their unconscious level that to love, for example, someone else, is actually losing the self, losing identity, losing yourself within the other. And to love means taking advantage of right, of right and to mean to be weak or submissive or spineless. And all of these concepts and self-sabotaging blocks or the unconscious understanding of freedom is a little limited and that influences how we relate first to ourselves in terms of freedom. So if we are confused about believing that if we love someone then we are losing freedom, we love someone, then we uh lose in freedom when we actually uh connect to other person on the level of that first initial uh attraction and if and we kind of uh really attracted to that person, but at the same time, at the background of our um level, we feel like if we allow ourselves deeply to love that person, we're going to lose our freedom. So basically, it's that this paradox really is about we want to be connected to other person, about we want to be connected to other person. We love to love people that we are attracted to and we would like to have more connection with them, but at the same time we have that fear of losing ourselves within the other. We're afraid to become submissive or we're afraid to Implacement almost sits in our fearful level and all of these dynamics of course affect us so deeply in terms of not being able to connect with that.

Speaker 1: 4:46

We are self-imp ourselves to go with freedom and we do the opposite of what we need to do to free ourselves up, and we're kind of confused about it. We don't want to be really giving up ourselves and connect with another, believing that we will submit, we will lose ourselves within the other. We feel weak when we love, but in reality it is the other way around. So we struggle with self-love and of course, we cannot give love to the other, and the paradox is that what we're trying to do, we have this concept of hating ourselves and others. So we're kind of moving from one to another and we indulge ourselves in the pseudo-solution of blaming others, right? We're blaming others in order for us to, so we're blaming others, right? We're blaming others in order for us to, so. We're blaming others in order to love ourselves. We almost like want to feel self-love at the cost of hating the others. So this is really where the core of not feeling free and feeling trapped, because when we start to look seriously within ourselves and see the pseudo solution to self-love, we see that we actually want to justify our own love to the self at the cost of hating others. So we need to really look at these areas of ourselves and start to heal these areas of ourselves where we need to admit the state where we are at honestly.

Speaker 1: 7:44

So the core to the freedom is self-honesty. This is the only one and the only one issue that we have, because when we actually have not honesty with ourselves, we try to mask and we try to present to other people someone who is not us. We're just not having that authentic self. We're presenting to other person ourselves in the pseudo light of being loving ourselves. We are kind, we are respectful, we are caring, we are considerate and all of these things, but internally inside we hate each other and we don't understand this dynamic. So we keep hating the others, thinking that that hate of the others will bring self-love to us. So that's not really going to work. It's a dilemma, it's a paradox that people are circling around and around and around and the freedom is only in one word Self-honesty.

Speaker 1: 9:00

When you become self-honest and when you recognize that you are actually circling around, you're cycling around all these concepts and not going within deep enough to admit that you still have things to do, that you're still hating yourself, that you're still hating yourself, that you still criticizing yourself, that you still not having strengths and guts to accept okay, I'm in the wrong way. I'm actually keep masking and keep pretending of not who I am really are, of not who I am really are. So I'm inviting you really deeply, look at yourself and see and identify where you're at, if, at any given time, you're still trying to justify your not really life-supporting decisions, or where you try to justify yourself with a blame of the other. When you are demanding someone to be or do something that you feel more comfortable with in the self, you are still dealing with this pseudo-solution of trying to resolve the issue of self-hatred. So, as I said, the core of being and becoming free internally in your heart, in your mind, in your system and externally is, in one word, self-honesty. Self-honestly accept that you're not there yet.

Speaker 1: 11:03

Self-honestly accept that you are still struggling with the issue of not allowing yourself to love yourself enough, not allowing yourself to go deeper with that loving current that is given to us for free. It's coming all the time to us, but we're blocking it because we have this fear, we have the doubts. We're always thinking that if I commit a little bit more, I'm going to lose my freedom, I'm going to lose myself, I'm going to lose my strength, I'm going to feel weak, submissive, I'm going to do what other person want me to do. And that fear is really building that really strong wall between you and others and between you and yourself. So that wall can be really easily, in one moment, it can be dissolved. It can be dissolved the moment you admit that you're pretending, the moment you admit that you are using all different sorts of resolution, but not the one that is based on honesty.

Speaker 1: 12:25

All external tips, methods, tools, programs and all the guidance that you receive externally is only a post that can actually help you to look and go to this direction. But the real work is internal to this direction. But the real work is internal. The real work is within you that you need to start to catch yourself on these moments where you're still blaming the other for the things that you're not having in your life, blaming the other or judging the other or demanding the other that it's not giving to you what you wanted them to give. Once these dynamics are resolved and then you're really admitting yourself I'm still there, I'm still doing it, although you're on a way of resolving it.

Speaker 1: 13:30

But now and then you meet with a person who is triggering you strong enough that all of this self-proving, self-activating in terms of, like, I'm right and you're wrong. So it's a spiraling journey. You need to start to admit it honestly to yourself. When you start to do it to yourself, you're automatically doing it for others. You're automatically going to be very honest with others. You're automatically going to be honest with all the situations outside of you. So please, start to focus on self-honesty.

Speaker 1: 14:23

Freedom equals self-honesty. This is the only way to start to build that freedom, internal and external. But first it starts here. So, self-honesty with everything that's going on within you. Listen to your body, see what the body is saying. When you are with another and when you are pretending of and being of not who you are, your body will tell you. Your body will be really not relaxed. It's going to be really contracted. It's going to be hard, it's gonna be, uh, having different areas of your body in contraction. It's gonna be even painful.

Speaker 1: 15:16

It's gonna be showing you, uh, when you are feeling this way, well, you know there's a lack of self-honesty, there's a lack of accepting that you are still keep reacting to the external environment. You are still reacting towards other people. You still triggered by them. You still still having these protective, defensive behaviors that are actually protecting you from allowing yourself to laugh, because laugh is everything, right, Laugh is in everything, is in everything. And when we reject or when we not allow ourselves to love, well, then we of course do the opposite, we self-hate and of course, if we self-hate, we hate others.

Speaker 1: 16:26

We need to work to this old dynamics of honesty first.

Speaker 1: 16:32

I'm honest, I'm telling myself I still cannot really be relaxed with my mother, or I still cannot be relaxed with my partner, I still cannot be relaxed with this world. That is crazy and it triggers me. So all of these things are your navigation posts to see if your self-honesty is actually ignored. So when you have reaction, it's time to start to work, go within and tell yourself honestly what is it that is not allow you to be relaxed, to be confident, to be grounded, to say, okay, I'm only human, I made mistakes, but I forgive myself. I am having intention to keep growing, to keep healing, to keep allowing myself to love me and others. So, yes, the freedom lies in this self-honest attitude and why we still keep covering up our flaws, why we still covering up and protecting and masking what is really in reality in the moment within us. So if we honestly accept that this is entry point to the new reality, and once you accept that, you are already starting the process of freeing yourself up and living complete freedom.