Navigating Privacy to Foster Authentic Bonds

Ready to transform your relationships and personal growth journey? Tune into the Heart of Success show, where we unpack the profound distinctions between privacy and secrecy. Discover how privacy can be a powerful tool for creativity, self-reflection, and openness, while secrecy often breeds untruthfulness and destructive behaviors. We promise you'll learn how to navigate these concepts to foster more genuine connections in your life.

In this insightful episode, we'll tackle the fears that keep us clinging to secrecy—fear of judgment, fear of self-exploration, and fear of vulnerability. Understand how these fears create barriers to true intimacy and self-fulfillment. By trusting in our divine selves and being transparent, even when it feels uncomfortable, we can break free from the chains of secrecy. Embrace privacy as a constructive force and watch how it transforms your relationships and overall well-being. Don't miss this chance to create the honest and fulfilling life you've always desired.

Welcome to "The Heart of Success," where we redefine success with Larisa Vakulina – a multi-awarded entrepreneur, healer, and mentor.

Feeling unfulfilled despite your achievements? Larisa knows your journey. Each week, she shares powerful insights to help you blend professional success with personal fulfillment. Through her unique blend of business strategies and spiritual principles, you'll discover your true self and build a heart-aligned life.

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Chapters

• 0:33 The Difference Between Privacy and Secrecy
• 10:29 Breaking Free From Secrecy Fear
• 27:00 Exploring Privacy vs. Secrecy

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:33

Hello everyone, happy Wednesday. And you are on the Heart of Success show with Larissa Vakulina. I'm your host, I come live every Wednesday at 2 pm, south Australian time and I speak here on this show about success. Success in all areas of our lives, not only the very shallow and one-sided success generating money, financial independence and some sort of approval or the wealth and roles, but success in a true sense of it, success in your inner fulfillment, in your happiness, in your joyfulness, in your relationships, in what you are creating. So today's episode is very interesting because it comes to me through just observing how many couples and couples in a relationship are basically confusing their privacy and secrecy. And really it's not only in relationships. It is penetrating the whole levels of our lives, everywhere, from the top up to down and inside of us too.

Speaker 1: 1:55

So the privacy is a very legitimate need of everyone. It's basically the need of the soul to be with yourself. This is really a fundamental, primal need of everyone, every person. So such periods of privacy doesn't really mean isolation or separatedness from anyone. So many people don't even understand that they have this very, very deep need to be in the privacy right desire and they create outer reasons and they create outer distractions to actually avoid to be in privacy with themselves and to be alone. So other people, if they live very busy lives and have also very busy conditions around themselves, they can find time in privacy and also sometimes even out of privacy. So yet others are completely predominantly belong to themselves. These people are creating this aloneness and being with themselves not because they're in privacy creating something, but because they're afraid of connecting and contact with themselves, and this is the primal fear driving them to be alone. Secondary fear is a fear of contact with the other. So there's all different sorts of and levels of people, how they see themselves with privacy and how they see themselves with that need of being in privacy with themselves.

Speaker 1: 4:00

So how about secrecy? Well, the secrecy is always sits on the concept of untruthfulness, right? So the secrecy is never positive. It is not in the. It's not positive in the real sense of it, right? I'm not talking here about secrecy that you keep to surprise the loved ones, right? So when we prepare some secret surprise for our loved ones, it's not in real term a secrecy because at the end, finally, it is joyfully revealed, right? So this is different. I'm talking about the secrecy that it always hides something negative. Otherwise they would not be kept secret right? So if these secrets are revealed, then we have a chance to deal with them and we can chance to dissolve and transform them from that negative intention, distracted behaviors and distracted patterns that actually want you to keep it in secrecy. So we have, if we reveal it, we have the chance to actually transform that secret, hidden negative intention or the negative behavior or the negative pattern and transform it into the positive creation and find the resolution within ourselves, it into the positive creation and find the resolution within ourselves how we can actually deal with this secret that we try to keep right. So by keeping secret, we basically maintain and nurture negative thoughts. We nurture and we still keep our dishonest actions and destructive behavioral patterns right.

Speaker 1: 5:59

To plead righteousness about keeping secrets is really an absurd one, because what usually happens is that the privacy is used to camouflage the negative intention, to camouflage the secret that sits on that negative intention. And, in other words, the secretive people will have the right and need to use privacy to conceal that they really are keeping something secret. So this is a very, very dangerous weapon here, because using privacy to keep secrecy really makes others be confused and use the truth to cover up the lie. So we all now have the huge global observation of exactly what's happening right now under the cover of caring for our health and well-being. So the government or, you know, whoever is leading us towards what's happening right now, is using that almost, like you know grand purpose to are having, and all countries are having these secret agencies. They have secret spy agencies or whatever they have there to cover up some kind of secret, negative intentions and they call it diplomacy. So the real diplomacy is really not like that. So this type of the righteousness to climb that we have, the need to keep our privacy, to cover up the secrecy, is really penetrating our society in and out. So this is really a big, huge unraveling needs to happen in order for us to heal these things, in order for us to build something on a very honest and very open manner, right?

Speaker 1: 8:36

So the true concept of privacy never implies keeping secrets. It never implies keeping secrets. In fact, it is really the opposite is the truth, because what is divinely inspired and what is ripened in within the privacy of your inner creative force, uh, at the end gonna be revealed and shared with others, and this is really is what we missing, because and we think that if we keep some kind of secrets, we can then kind of sell it on to other people at some value. And so the concept of competition sits as well on that concept of the secrecy and kind of keeping that as a tool for manipulation. But the real, true privacy never, ever implies keeping secret. Because if you fully open to your creative force, if you fully connected to your creativity and you sit in your privacy and create something amazing that you are planning to reveal and share with others for the benefit of many, well this is the true privacy and there's no need to have the secrecy right. So only dishonesty, the negative intentionality lies, destructiveness of one sort or another need to be hidden. So sometimes we also create excuses to keep some sort of secret right.

Speaker 1: 10:29

If I reveal myself in fullness of who I am, I will be never understood or I will be unjustly judged and criticized. So this is really is what most of us feeling. And but if you are in truthfulness, if you are in your truth, well, you don't need to have understanding of others. You still keep your strong groundness in your truthfulness. But if you are not in truth and if you hide in something or keep this secret, well then, of course, you need to try to make people understand you, make people understand you and also use that as a tool to explore the reality of the situation that you try to keep secret, right? So this is almost like you have that tool to test if your lies are having some kind of understanding and things, things. Well, this is a big, big barrier and wall that you are building from contact with yourself and with others.

Speaker 1: 11:43

And if you keep this secret of maybe judging your fellow human beings and maybe you know you're criticizing and keep some sort of secrets, well then you're not only not honoring themselves, you're not honoring yourself, right? So, and I believe that what we're going right now through all of this, you know, revelation and discovery of all of the things that have been hidden from us by the governments, by the leaders, the world leaders and this is really is something that now coming up for us in a way that we need to start to look and reflect back to ourselves, because this is really a task of each and every one of us go back to our life and ask ourselves a question what I am hiding from, what I'm hiding from myself, what I'm hiding in me for others and all sorts of questions. Uh needs to be um, asked, uh ourselves and explore in this uh manner to actually be, um, be able to start to unravel and purify your own inner landscape, landscape towards finding that reason why you keep the secret. Right so secrets are always damaging to relationships, to intimacy, to real, real contact and real fulfillment. Right so secretive people are never emotionally fulfilled.

Speaker 1: 13:33

To become transparent, of course it is not an overnight thing, it is not the mind command like I'm going to be transparent. So this requires, of course, patience, this requires time, this requires your positive intention, your willingness to open up yourself in whatever state you are in. Right, and keeping secrets also blocks the effort and responsibility to find real solutions and real resolutions. So this really keeps us. If we keep the secrets, we keep ourselves in a very, very low, blocked space where even we, suppressing our creativity, we're really not able to find the real solutions because we not looking at the reality and truthfulness that is sitting within ourselves. So the huge reason for secrets, to keep secrets, is the fear of self-exploration. Well, it's again. I'm repeating it again if I show myself fully the way I am, I would not be loved, right? This is the biggest primal fear most of the people have, and because of that fear, then, we're not revealing ourselves fully.

Speaker 1: 15:01

We keep in secret some parts of ourselves that we believe are not flattering or they're not, you know, flashy or whatever. Whatever the perception of ourselves, we keep inside of ourselves, right? So we assume that the approval of others, that the understanding and respect of others, is the most important, and it's more important that respect and understanding of oneself, right, and that's why we keep creating some sort of, you know, secrecy, and we're using privacy for covering up the negative intention behind that. So this really is the fundamentals of why we tend to keep secrecy, and really justified by the truthfulness of the privacy. So these two concepts need to be not confused.

Speaker 1: 16:09

So the real, in true sense privacy is a very humble and very creative process, because we only can create something amazing and something really beneficial for us and uh in this, in society, that because we, uh, we don't have this um centeredness in ourselves. We have this scattering uh of ourselves. We have this negative um thoughts and emotions and all this scattering energetic resources that we really need to get and gather together within ourselves and then sit in that inner and outer private time to allow our creative force to kick in and start to connect with our inner genius and start to create amazing things. And we keep it for some time in the secret. But it is the secret of surprise. This is the secret of surprise to get all of this out there and share with others and surprise others in a very positive, divine way, right? So I really wish that you can kind of comment on it and come to understanding that these two concepts really need to be understood on a deeper level because of the destruction and distortions and lies and all of the negative intentions that we have in our society needs to be unraveled, unearthed, revealed and dealt with in a very honest way.

Speaker 1: 18:09

To just point out three fundamental reasons for resistance of giving up secrecy, right? So the first one is the fear of being that, like the fear of thinking that you're bad. Right, like I'm bad. I'm bad and I'm afraid to risk myself to find out that this is not true. Right, it's like that and that keeps us not revealing ourselves in full sense of it. Right, so that we have most of us not having the willingness to risk all of who we are. So there's a there's an unwillingness to open up, there's a fear of keeping up, and because we perceive ourselves and we have that big part of ourselves that thinking, well, I'm back.

Speaker 1: 19:04

So the second point is that in ignorance that there is another way, it's just like the ignorance that, well, what if? What if I am good, and what if that I can learn how I can communicate something that is up to right now, inc uh, incommunicable, incommunicable, right? So? Um, basically, we don't know how to communicate the deepest part of ourselves, and that's also, uh, stopping us to reveal ourselves and open up ourselves and become close to ourselves first, and then, of course, if we come close and connect with ourselves and start to really be willing to share all of ourselves with yourself first and then with others, well then, that will give you so much more energy, so much more energy, so much more integration into your creative energy, as you will start to transform and dissolve all of these inner secrets for yourself, and then, if you do it for yourself, you automatically do it for others as well. So that's how it works. It works on all levels, right? It's not only that you just do it when you do your inner work, and nothing will be changing, but it will. Because if you start to look at yourself with all honesty and start to dissolve your secrets because they always sitting on a negative intention, in some sort of a hidden agenda, in some sort of the destructiveness of one sort or another, some sort of lies, well then, if you start to dissolve that and you start to do it slowly with yourself, well then the result will be you wouldn't even imagine. The result will be connection with others. The more you do it, the more you and deeper you will start to connect with others.

Speaker 1: 21:24

So the third point I want to tell you is that there's a fear of being too vulnerable, right? So the vulnerability part is now very popular to talk about. It is stylish world and we basically, you know this vulnerable kind of skills start to get into the business world and everywhere. But really, the knowing, the having awareness of this vulnerable part is also creating a fear to be too vulnerable, right? Because when we reveal ourselves in full vulnerability, when we allow ourselves to feel what within ourselves and what is outside of ourselves, it creates a pain. It creates pain of seeing how much damage we created for our planet. It creates pain for us to see and be aware that we are harming others, that we're harming animals, that we're harming environment, that it also, when you start to tap into your vulnerability, you also start to feel the pain of you creating pain for others.

Speaker 1: 23:01

So all of these pains start to kick in, and this is what the fear is. Start to get kick in and this is what the fear is, because we feel that that fear is going to, you know, is going to consume me. This pain is going to consume me. How I'm going to cope with that soft pain? Because vulnerability is always creating that soft pain, always creating that soft pain, and that soft pain is always much more bearable and we can cope with that. We can deal with that than the pain of keeping the secret, that the pain of being in untruthfulness, that the pain of lying to yourself, that you need to have the secrecy because you're afraid of someone not accepting you. So there's two sorts of pain, and this is your choice. Which pain are you choosing? Are you choosing that hard pain of staying in life and staying in secrecy and staying in a hidden agenda that always implies negative and destructive patterns and behaviors, or you start to purify yourself, start to choose to be vulnerable, stay with the pain of knowing that you inflict pain on others or the environment and things like that.

Speaker 1: 24:43

This pain of being vulnerable and feeling that soft pain is the transformational pain. This is the pain that can transform and help us to actually find the new, truthful resolution. This is the pain that is open up our creativity. Open up our creativity. This is the pain that can actually improve our inspiration for going deeper within ourselves and start to dig out all of these places that are not being honored within ourselves. And if we're not honored these parts within ourselves, well, we automatically not honoring these parts of the same parts in others. Right, it is a two-way situation here. So I think I kind of finalized today with what I wanted to say.

Speaker 1: 25:46

Of course there's more in it because there's so much going on in the relationship, especially with men, between men and women, where there's so much misunderstanding about the private, the need for the privacy and the secrecy. So the need for the privacy is our legitimate, primal need that we all have. Without meeting this need, we actually live in a crippled way. We're kind of functioning in not our full capacity. But there's so many couples I'm observing that if one of the partners wants to have a privacy and kind of want to get and be alone. The other partner is kind of having this problem Well, you don't love me, you don't want to be with me. There's a kind of resentment, you know, start to kick in and all sorts of this blame and manipulation start to happen, whereas each person and each partner in a relationship have that need to be in privacy.

Speaker 1: 27:00

It's not secrecy, it is privacy that I was explaining before. In privacy, we have ability to create amazing things and then we can reveal it and share with your partner, with your loved ones, with a bigger community. So that's where the distinguishing foundation is that the privacy is a need. Secrecy is not. So secrecy is something that is always hide, some sort of negativity. So I hope you start to maybe reflect on how, in your life, the privacy and secrecy plays a role and what it does to your life and to yourself and to your loved ones. And if you just would like to explore these areas a little bit more, well, then of course you're welcome to contact me. We can go deeper into these areas, but also you can just sit with yourself and start to have this exploration about these two concepts the privacy and the secrecy. So I'm really, really grateful for anyone who was jumping in and watching this episode and I really would like to wish you a little bit of the confusion that is going on around right now and I just would like to invite you to start to love yourself more, trust yourself more.

Speaker 1: 29:01

Yes, the last point. I want to say that all these uh points that I was discussing about fear, uh, that you are bad, uh, the ignorance about, uh, other ways of dealing with with that fear, and also the fear of being too vulnerable. The main common denominator of all of these three reasons is resistance to connect to the divine part of yourself, resistance to connect to the God self right, and that's what really it comes down to. Resistance to connect to that God divinity within yourself, fully, fully with yourself, and trust that part of yourself. So, trust yourself, trust that part of yourself that is so powerful, and that part of you can create anything you want. Thank you so much.